
You jerk
awake
black thoughts
scuttle across
the floorboards
of yr brain
little
armour-plated
Hittites,
the cockroaches
of yr mind
- photo by Hermes Rivera from Unsplash
You jerk
awake
black thoughts
scuttle across
the floorboards
of yr brain
little
armour-plated
Hittites,
the cockroaches
of yr mind
Very good……although I read ‘yr’ as ‘your’ the contraction was refreshingly different ..I liked it….Oh? it was a typo? There yr go……And John, why would I have thought it was titled ‘Hotties’ when first glanced at?
All humour aside I thought it was good…..
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thanks, Don; I intentionally contract words where I think its appropriate and where it won’t cause misunderstanding; you read it right —
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I like the concept…different and creative….like I change words to fit the rhyme providing readers still know what I’m talking about….it’s how language progresses yes?….if you keep doing the same old thing what you keep getting is the same old thing….
Seems no-one else is up yet? yawn….
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Brilliantly skilful.
Love the imagery in this 🖤🖤
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I thought you would like it; thanks 🙂
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I certainly did!
Right up my street this one! 👍🖤
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Nasty little thoughts, why we have dream catchers 😉🖤
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thanks; must get myself some — or play Garry Wright before bed time 🙂
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😁
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Hittites? the mysterious empire of Asia Minor around 1800 – 1200 BC, the first to use horses and iron weapon, and the only one who defeated the Egyptians in that period, where is the connection?
sorry for being so literal.
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I always associate Hittites with being in battle attire much like cockroaches which appear heavily armoured wit their plate-like pronotum which covers their dorsal structure
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That’s cool! I didn’t know that. It’s a great description!
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got it, interesting how we draw this kind of pictures
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Oh yes. That was my night to a tee!! Thank you for expressing it so aptly. The cockroaches … brrrr.. Little scuttling sneaky, skin crawling beasties.
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you describe them well: your little night in hell 🙂
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now i’m terrified! a testament to your words –
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I only hope, Beth, you didn’t read this close to bed time; if so, apologies 🙂
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Hi John, just thought I’d catch up with you before bed. YUCK! Hahaha
I’m not afraid of roaches, but they are disgusting.
We get an hour less sleep since we set our clocks forward, better go before more dark thoughts keep me awake! 😀
Enjoy your day, eden
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good to hear from you, Eden; good to hear your cheery voice; we set our clocks forward end of the month, I think; wish you cheery dreams 🙂 beware the Hittites 🙂
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If those sneaky little thoughts escaped forever, would they morph into Missites?
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I like your take on this one, Hobbo 🙂
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Is this what happens right before you cry out in shock and alarm that there are cockroaches and armored men of any kind crawling on top of you? Best, squeeze those eyes shut and hope it’s a dream. Very eerie imagery.
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🙂 good advice, thanks Karen; perhaps one glass less of red might assist too 🙂 those damn Hittites 🙂
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armored assholes; don’t know how to march quietly. 😉
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what are you on? those brilliant quips !!!
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red wine and lack of sunshine 😉
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yes, that will do it every time 🙂
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Ptui. some nights are just like this… well-described, sir.
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thanks Ed; good to get your take on this one 🙂
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Just so’s ya know – the ‘ptui’ was about the roaches. I like your poem a lot! Creepiness has its place.
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thanks, Ed; no, that didn’t click with me —
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This picture made me shiver and the poetry made me shiver again
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good; the post was effective then 🙂 words and picture carefully chosen 🙂
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