Comes out every now and then
When I lose the thread of an argument and desperately try to sew it up
When I chat with Tiff in her tank at night when there’s nothing on TV
When I slapstick my way across the mall just for the hell of it
In the bath on Sundays when I sing ‘Deep Water’ backwards, inside out and upside down to give my vocal chords a workout
At the hairdressers when I talk to Simon with the harelip about his dad’s imminent retirement as Lord Mayor of Mars
And lastly when we all stand together in Alex’s Salon and sing the Mars National Anthem on International Mars Day
- when do you speak Martian?
John Malone 
Does it make you laugh singing retaw peed in the bath? 😉 I am not fluent in Martian but occasionally I try it out when I am particularly frustrated or indignant. It’s just what comes out. And the kids seem to think the dog might understand it.
I like how Mars Day is international rather than interplanetary.
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thanks Worms; this poem is a little garbled, as befits its subject matter and is the rare poem I put up in incomplete form; the singing in the Salon actually occurred —
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😂😂 Wish Simon’s dad a happy retirement will you!
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Lol …. there is talk of Simon ‘going up’ to replace Dad but there is some doubt whether Simon is made of ‘the right stuff’ 😦
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😂 Presumably the election for office would take place by drawing Mars Bars.
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Lol … I will put your admirable solution to the committee, Hobbo: I will also take Simon aside and suggest he not get his hopes up 🙂
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😂 If Simon is unsuccessful you could buy him a Milky Way as a consolation!
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love your sense of humor.
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thank you; it is said that I am incurable 🙂 my first choice of profession was to be a stand-up but I turned out a teacher; oh well 🙂
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i think it’s takes a bit of standup personality to be a teacher
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I reckon you’re right, Beth: my sense of humor got me through on many an occasion — and I’m sure it worked for you as well 🙂
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The Martian mostly comes out at work, and when getting ready to go to work…
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🙂 yes, I experienced that too before I retired 🙂
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My Martian speaks when I’m angry beyond rationality. I don’t think anyone would want to hear that. And you’re as witty as ever, John. Great work! 🙂
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‘angry beyond rationality’ is a great expression ; thanks Terveen 🙂
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Simply hilarious
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yes, it is a good fun poem 🙂
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Hm, don’t speak Martian but the guys in the IT-Support does!
I will try out slapstick across the mall next time, thanks for a great idea!
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🙂 you don’t want to try it too often, Ulle, but every now and then, just to experience the joy of silliness: the Monty Python team were good at that 🙂
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