I like to stand beneath the stars
on the road to Shambala
wild, dishevelled, totally free
pissing ‘neath the lemon tree.
There is no more pleasing sound
than someone piddling on the ground,
wide eyed, loose, totally free
like a surfer in the sea.
I held a star in my hand
Immediately I could understand
how beautiful you truly are.
on the path to Shambala.
Sounds very spiritual. In fact, you could say that you put the pee into spiritual! 🙂
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I should say that it was a very enjoyable read. Rhythm rhyme and repetition all work together beautifully along with that beautiful word, Shambala.
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Lol 🙂 thanks Worms; for some reason I had difficulty in formatting it as I wanted; Word Press was making things difficult; perhaps it was me; anyhow the poem seems to have got through in a satisfactory form 🙂
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Yes it looks fine. I use the “verse” format for my poetry. It allows you to leave gaps etc. WordPress formatting is very bossy, I find.
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thanks, Worms, I will try that 🙂
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quite the imagery –
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thanks, Beth: I am proud of the one about holding a star in my hand; I don’t know where that came from but I accepted it 🙂
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that’s how they often arrive, unexplained but happily accepted
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Rhythmic, poetic and humorous. A wonderful combination. 🙂
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a bit like me , Hobbo, in my more inspired moments 🙂
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🙂 Yes, it’s a great combination!
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Both serious and funny. Love the imagery. Well done!
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too many of my poems start with me pissing under the lemon tree under the cover of night; I’m a seriously troubled boy, Bob 🙂
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I’m smilin’ over here, John. I’m smilin’
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🙂 yes, the poem couldn’t make up its mind whether it was going to be funny or serious; when in doubt opt for humor 🙂
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A very different read. Relieving oneself can be a very satisfying feeling. Inspires beautiful poetry. Shambala…lovely. 🙂
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thanks Terveen; it’s how the cavemen relived themselves; I’m tapping into something primitive here 🙂
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Seems great poetry comes when opening to nature.. Just fantastic!
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I think Ulle when you’re underneath the stars, by a lemon tree, and there’s a little light on in the laundry, and the night is mild, you’re out in the open, out with the universe; inspiration is very, very close 🙂 you don’t see this in creative writing manuals 🙂
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Humor combined with an element of seriousness…great combination, I must say!I really enjoyed the read 😀
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thank you; it is a strange blend but it seems to have worked 🙂
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Lemon trees love
that railroad gin 🍋😎
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