Saga of the Search

I don’t know what Jesus had in mind

when he said, Seek and ye shall find,

probably not these soy and almond protein oats

that soothe the tummy, titillate the throat

whose disappearance from the supermarket shelves

threaten to dismember my notion of self;

but I think He would be pleased I got off my arse

& visited various supermarkets, unafraid to ask

do you stock any of these, flashing my iphone pic

of the last one I had, but their reply is quick:

sorry, they say, you could try other stores

so I haul along my sorry arse to try one more

and lo and behold! joy leapt in my throat

before me sat 5 packets of those soy, almond oats.

Lord Nelson

Do you think I should bring him in?

Who?

Lord Nelson.

Lord Nelson of the Admiralty? Yes, especially if he’s pacing up and down the driveway, as though it’s the quarterdeck of the HMS Victory. People will think he’s bonkers. He’ll be wanting an eye-patch next.

*pic courtesy of pinterest

You Give Me the Shits !

You give me the shits, is perhaps the highest compliment

you can pay a piece of fruit ; moondrop grapes, for instance,

sometimes called ‘sapphires, ’ loosen the bowels and keep

you regular; I like being a regular guy; I like being called

‘a regular guy’ and wonder how they know? Does it show?

Do ‘regular guys’ emit a glow that constipated guys don’t?

Moreover, moondrop grapes are delicious and send you

in the right orbit for the rest of the day.