The Kick

I still get a kick from doing

my shoelaces up,

of threading them through the holes

of making sure that one end

is the same length as the other.

You don’t get tired of these things.

Rubik’s Cube for simpletons.

  • what simple tasks do you take pleasure in?

The World is a Cat

*

The world is a cat.

It knocks things over

that should be left standing.

It turns on you with tooth and claw

even when you are affectionate

towards it.

It draws blood,

pounces with unbridled savagery

on the weak and defenceless.

It has no shame, remorse.

When have you seen it

hang its head?

Yet, the world can surprise you

with sudden turns of affection

as it rubs against you

and purrs.

  • pic courtesy of pinterest

Travel Lightly

Travel lightly, Matt said during a session of morning meditation

and though I knew what he meant — shedding one’s addictions,

regrets, anger, all the pettiness that weighs us down,

I couldn’t help but applying it to food, how it’s easier to move

with grace and agility with less weight, foregoing that plate of chips,

that second glass of wine with steak and even a smaller portion

of eye fillet, but surely a slice of that yummy Orange Baby Cake

after gym wouldn’t hurt

The Getting of Wisdom

Back in the seventies when I first

went teaching , I came across them ;

flimsy paper tickets as evidence you’d paid

for your journey on the tram or bus;

you’d turn them over discovering a world of wisdom:

‘it’s the spouting whale that gets harpooned’,

‘it’s not enough to point the gun , you’ve got

to pull the trigger’ ….. ‘the past is dead,

the future’s not here, the present is your home’ ;

little homilies to help you along life’s journey ;

I collected them all until they stopped using them —

then one day left them in a carriage and never

saw them again ; I was like a disciple

who had lost his guru ; I had to seek

other sources for the getting of wisdom .

The Search

I felt cheated

by the short story writer

whose piece

morphed

into a

sociopolitical tract

on racism

for page after phlegmatic page

leaving the characters fumbling

in the dark

in search of a plot —

and me, with them

Something Stupid

I wasn’t standing near a level crossing
being eaten alive by tiger mosquitoes waiting
for the train to pass when
I could be at the River Bar drinking with my buddies
under a cool fan
but I was stuck in the emergency ward of the RAH
waiting for the medicos
to attend to my heart attack or whatever I was having
and I had a killer thirst.
So just like George did something stupid —
stepping over the carriage links when the train lurched forward
so I discharged myself
so I could be at the pub by 5pm with my mates,
 I had to sign a waiver though.
 Nothing happened to me like losing a leg
but it could have, It could have.

Grandad and the Punatorium

My grandpappy loved puns.
He was considered a pundit on the topic.
He had a secret cache of punography stashed away in his room where he could be heard laughing maniacally late into the night. .
Sadly he was confined to a Punatorium in the hope of curing him of this terrible affliction.

Someone once said you can measure the value of a pun by the volume of groans it elicits.

Grandad had three which he dished out wherever he went.
A pony walks into a bar and croakily asks for a pint of beer. The barman has trouble understanding him. Sorry, says the pony, I’m a little hoarse.
Out on my walk today, I spotted a Dalmatian.
A teacher in a Year Nine English class, had trouble with a girl called Lichen. Give her time, a colleague said. She’ll grow on you.
Boom boom ! Get it? A well-full of groans.
 

Flinch

Something the photographer said about animals.

We are much more unpredictable to them

than they are to us.

We could shoot them, pet them,

kick them up the butt, out the door.

Perhaps that’s why this rescue cat eyes me

suspiciously,

sleeps with one eye open

flinches when another male approaches.