Guillotine.
Who devised you?
You look so cute
so placid
so trustworthy
warm wooden seat
on the toilet rim
but when I lift you up
to pee
you don’t stay up
like other toilet seats
but drop down
heavily
like something medieval
a guillotine
ouch !
Guillotine
John Malone 
You must be very well endowed, John.
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hahahaha; just careful, Eden: it’s a trap for young players 🙂
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And old players……
I’m meant to be pulling weeds John……
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pulling weeds is a noble activity, Don; I do it from time to time 🙂
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Do you wear a crown?…..
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no, a medal will do, Don 🙂
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I believe WP are minting medals for top achievers. Bronze 1000 followers, Silver 5000 Gold 10,000. But we both no it’s all a con. Numbers mean nothing…..
Congratulations John (bells and whistles) you have reached 5000 followers. blah blah. Your medal will arrive by Amazon shortly. At no cost to you John. Blog on to your next goal of 10000
gawd…….
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Use extreme caution
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now that message should appear on the toilet for unsuspecting males; a few have been caught out 🙂
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Invention is the mother of necessity. 🤣I enjoyed this quippy piece.
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thanks K; it’s the sort of thing you couldn’t make up; all male visitors are made aware of this little, unsettling quirk 🙂
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Oh man. News flash to me. Is it something to tease you all about? 🤣🤣
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fortunately I don’t know another toilet seat like it; I believe it’s a rarity, a one off thank goodness 🙂
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Haha! And it looks so innocent…ouch!
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stand back if you encounter one of these, Bob; or alternatively hold the lid firmly 🙂
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That’s the long and the short of it,
John. 😎👍
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beware of wayward toilet seats , David; there is little toilet humor in this post —
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This will explain why I write like I do
Terveen and I have known each other for a long time. She is at my side helping in all ways all the time
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thanks Don; I will hop across and have a read 🙂
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Watch out for the potholes when hopping over……
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thanks Don; I understand; many of those people you mentioned I admire; I also enjoyed Manic Rooster 🙂
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Thanks. My posts are normally short. retired with plenty of time. Can write up to 10 posts a day. A true manic. Causes lots of ‘issues’ . It’s how they’re dealt that counts though. I forget most of what I’ve written eg Manic Rooster. Must go back and look..
Can’t see any manic ones here. Probably taken off stage. Too embarrassing. Shit Jack don’t video that one. But the owner boss? $500 to do?…OK Jack. We can edit it out , videoshop it whatever……..everyone was happy John. Good thing the boss wasn’t a John…….
I could go on but I won’t. Weeds are calling…..😜
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hahahahaha; wish I could crow like that; a masterly compilation; and don’t worry, Don, there is mastery in brevity done well — must pull up some weeds myself 🙂
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‘there is mastery in brevity done well’
I respect any writer who can do this.
I have this general idea that a good writer/ poet is one who can get their message across with a minimum of words. Could have even been something I read once. And yes, it is a skill which takes time to master.
To me in rhyme scansion takes priority. It has to lilt along scanningly……..
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Lol! This is priceless
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thank you ; we all have our little quirks; even toilet seats 🙂
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I’ve encountered toilet seats that won’t stay up. They need to be taught a lesson!
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I’m with you on that one, Neil 🙂
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Your excellent post accurately describes a bijoona. You should Google it, I expect you will find an article, entitled, In Search of the Savage Bijoona, originally published in 1973.
It’s a real eye-opener.
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now you’ve really got me curious; I’m going to look it up right away ; thanks
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found it; what a hoot !!
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Cunning, especially with those friendly frogs 😃
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hahaha; thanks for joining in the fun 🙂
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Have to beware of those ones. It’s better to be seated. The warm wooden seat is calling your name…haha! A funny one, John. 🙂
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you’re right, Terveen: there are some instances where it’s best to be seated ; thanks 🙂
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Good advice Terveen. Take note John.. Always be seated when shaking the hand of the wife’s best friend.
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what’s tnkrrr?
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one of my ‘tribe’; comments on my posts including this one —
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Stan is a man of many talents. We at FCS are privileged to be associated with him. Not only a toilet installer but electrician, pilot, council road line marker. We are proud our Stan. Seeing you have featured this item of every home necessity you might be interested in looking at Stan’s toiletship
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I’m going to duck over now, Don; I reckon yr Stan could fix up this errant toilet seat 🙂
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Yeah. He rescrewed one on backwards and it did the trick………
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hahahahah
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had a look, Don; yr Stan might be a man of many talents but it does not extend to toilet seats —
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He does seem to have an occasional problem…….
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The things I never have to worry about…
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one of the many disadvantages of being male (sigh)
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I have now got a mini mental movie full of drama playing in my head!
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hahahha; then I’ve conveyed it well 🙂
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