
Aisle Man.
I like to sit at the end.
The aisle seat.
At the cinema
concerts
church.
That’s where action heroes would sit,
I imagine.
Not in the middle of Row 22, for instance,
cramped on either side
like cattle in a truck.
No, Vin Diesel, John Wick , for instance,
would sit on the aisle,
close to the exit,
primed for action,
its sudden summons
like me
if only to take a phone call
or toilet break.
Me too! Definitely an aisle person. I love that we can choose our seats with booking online tickets – always the aisle in when I book and I sit on the outside. I can’t fathom people booking two or three seats in the centre – all those “scuse me” or perhaps they just aren’t movers.
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thank you, Kate: I’m glad I’m not the only one; I can’t understand people, especially someone solo, racing for the middle seat half a row up; perhaps they are herd people 🙂
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I’d imagine you’re right. Aisle seats make for quick , stealth-like exits.
That last line …. priceless!
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thanks Eden: i wasn’t going to insert that but I thought no, there’s nothing shameful in it and anyway nothing wrong with a bit of self deprecating humor: the best kind 🙂
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I’m an aisle seat person. Always want to know I can make that quick getaway when needed! I might use that superhero excuse next time someone wants seats in the middle.
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hahaha; it seems like there’s a tribe of us; in the rare instance that I can’t get an aisle seat I feel uneasy —
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I know that uneasy feeling!
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I consulted the “MORE IN” section of the reader to get advice. There are a few clues from the exegesis of the poem “Aisle #9.” You definitely need to pack some canned laughter in the overhead luggage, and dress casual: clown shoes and frizzy ginger hair. They’ll want you in the aisle seat so that in an emergency they can remove you quickly to the clown car.
If you do the John Wick thing and an exigency blows the horns of dilemmas, then they’ll whisk you off to a black car where they will give you an assassination assignment.
But from then on, they’ll never give you an aisle seat in Church. You’ll have to stand at the back with a machine gun. It can be a little uncomfortable.
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hahahaha; I love how much fun you had with this , Doug; you have a rich, comic talent; whether you employ it in comments, or in the design of your own rich posts, or something other out there in the ‘real world’ the ball’s in yr court; a richly comic comment; much thanks 🙂
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both are urgent calls of duty!
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a good answer, Beth; I agree 🙂
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You’re a hero then. I remember I did a first aid course and then, new in the knowledge that I had a duty of care to help in an emergency, I sat through a movie terrified that somebody would have a heart attack and I would be expected to know what to do. Pretty sure I huddled in the cattle truck area. It has put me off doing any more first aid courses. I am such a wuss!
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thanks for sharing this, Worms; don’t be hard on yourself: we all have our wuss-like moments 🙂 i love that sentence: ‘I huddled in the cattle truck area ‘ 🙂
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Hi. At movie theaters, I prefer to sit far away from others if possible, my wife excepted. I can concentrate better on the film that way.
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that’s a good point, Neil; cinema goers can get chatty during films; as readers of this blog know 🙂
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I’m an aisle person too. I just like the space. Of course, imagining you are John Wick is fun. But probably it’s more of being an introvert for me.
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aisle seats seem to get the nod, Bob 🙂
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Aisle seats are the way to go, ‘specially on airplanes. Aisle seat, exit row!
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I’m with you on that one 🙂
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OMG, I just realized something. Superheroes go on military cargo planes where the seats are along the walls, facing inward toward the aisle and there are no windows. There are no middle seats and you get a free parachute. That way you can parachute directly to your own house without needing an Uber. No need for spoke and hub — you can land in front of your own house or apartment. And if you’re not an experienced jumper you can get a free air-marshal on your back jumping with you if you need to land in an urban setting — no need to worry, he’ll be fully armed and he can do a few arrests that he’ll get credit for and then grateful for that, he’ll escort you home. It’s a win-win.
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that’s a bit alarming, Doug: it may pay me to keep my superhero status under wraps for the time being 🙂
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I guess it depends on the venue for me. On a plane, I want the window so I can do my cloud imaginations. At church or places super crowded, I prefer the aisle.
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I like that : ‘so I can do my cloud imaginations’ 🙂
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Row 10 with so much self-confidence that no-one dares to sit next to me. Jump the front rows in two leaps when popping out to save the world,,,, or just go to the loo.
Second thought, I’ll just take the aisle seat, thank you.
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hahaha; it’s much easier, Ulle 🙂
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I love those aisle seats! Perfect for making my great escape when the movie 🍿 is over. 😊
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ah; another aisle person; that’s another good reason; thanks Jennifer 🙂
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Great point! Men of action need clear pathways!
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hahaha; thanks for joining the fun, Bridgette 🙂
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Being an action man
I can never go to the cinema
facing the screen
so any super villain
could sneak up behind me
that’s the problem
with being an action hero
with so many a deadly enemy 😎
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I feel your pain , David 🙂 enemies to the left of us, enemies to the right of us …..
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💜💜
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It’s easier to get out or get in or simply sit on the edge waiting for that moment of unabashed hero glory. Lol! The loo visits are easier too. 😄
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it works for me, Terveev; I was watching Liam Neeson in a film, ‘Non Stop’, an aircraft thriller; he’s definitely an aisle man 🙂
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Wise choice, John🥋👊🏻😎
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//Alias: Kung Fu Panda
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hahaha; good one 🙂
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thank you; any action man worth his salt will choose an aisle seat 🙂 do action men go to the cinema??
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Some do; they’re just gone by the time you could ever spot them.
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hahah; good answer —
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I love it! Brilliant ending.
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yes, I think without the ending it is nothing —
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Haha! I love that mock-heroic touch 😃
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thanks; you never hear poets consider the seating arrangements of action heroes 🙂
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Yes, you have filled a serious lacuna 😃
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someone has to step up to the plate 🙂
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Hear! Hear!
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The very first time my wife laid eyes on me was on our very first day of high school, in 1986. She stepped into the classroom and I immediately caught her attention. She thought: “He is cute but sitting in the back of the classroom he must be a troublemaker. Better forget about him”.
But she also caught my attention… And we are still together, 37 years after that day.
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hahaha; a beautiful story; I was a teacher and I thought too : that’s where the troublemakers it, at the back of classrooms 🙂
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