Nice Bag

Nice bag, she says as I place it on the chemist’s counter.

Thank you, I say.

Yes, she says, admiring it.

Good looking.

Compact.

Square-shouldered.

Sturdy.

Not likely to topple over.

A bit like me, on a good day, I reply

She smiles, the sort of smile that says, I better humour this guy, he might be dangerous.

On Being Compared to a Gnat

You have the attention span,

he said,

of a gnat.

I thought [briefly]

about that:

the skim

the look;

the review

not the book;

the single

not the CD;

a movement not

the whole symphony;

the single poem—

a story won’t do—

especially if short

think haiku.

Life’s short.

Try this, that.

Stay light,

says the gnat.

What’s Coming Down the Pike

You don’t know what’s coming down the pike.

No one does.

Covid-19 showed that.

Now there are rumours of something else.

It doesn’t have a face or name

but the word ‘China’ is often invoked.

But no one knows.

But something is coming.

You can see its shadow.

Hear its footsteps.

Feel it breathing down yr neck.

And I feel like the poet Mark Strand

who always saw something coming down the pike

which is why he always slept, he says,

with one eye open.

My Walter Mitty V- Neck

Do you like this hi-neck sweater? she says. I’d like to buy it for you for Xmas. But you’ve got to keep it a secret.

I don’t know, he says. I prefer V-necks. Will you buy me a V-neck instead?

What have you got against hi-necks anyway?

You can’t whip your iPhone out or wallet from your top pocket at a moment’s notice, he says.

You’re not Walter Mitty? are you she says. You’re not a gunslinger.

But, but ….

And your top pockets are not holsters, are they? And this is West Lakes Shopping Centre NOT the Wild West!!

Can’t a guy dream? I smile

  • do you know who Walter Mitty is?
  • do you sometimes fantasize about being someone else?
  • do the clothes you wear create fantasies or do you buy certain clothes because they ‘feed’ a fantasy?

Nanette

Nanette ‘winked’ me again last night.

I have not been on an internet dating site for years.

Nevertheless, Nanette has been constant.

A wink is as good as a nod ….

One day I’m going to weaken.

I will go down the rabbit hole of curiosity,

the labyrinth of love

and leave no note.

I may never return.

Was Jesus a Funny Guy?

Was Jesus a funny guy?

Would he have laughed at my pelican story?

Had he a sense of humor?

And if so, was it the self-deprecating kind

or the sort that skewered the pomposity of others?

You can’t tell me with those twelve disciples alone

with all those foibles

he didn’t have sufficient material to work with.

My guess is he compiled a joke book which the early Church

suppressed.

Did he do stand-up on the mount where he gave,

in his more serious side, the Sermon on the Beatitudes?

Humour should have been amongst them.

A person with a sense of humour is in contact with his humanity.

Even the donkey and hyenas know how to laugh.

The images of Buddha show him with a rollicking belly.

I don’t mean to be disrespectful but where are the images

of the jolly Jesus?

I bet if they met he would have shared a laugh with Buddha,

even exchanged jokes over a coffee or two.

I wait for the record to be rectified.

An ampler, more approachable sort of god.

Are You a Friend of Jesus?

I was walking along the Semaphore jetty

when a roly-poly guy from the Gospel Ministry

waddled up to me with a pamphlet, asking:

Are you a friend of Jesus, friend?

I said that I was but I didn’t know about

my web-footed friend almost at my side, but

if you threw him a fish I’m sure that he

would be too.

Now I don’t know whether Jesus had a sense

of humor but this guy didn’t even crack a smile

No !

I’m sorry I said NO

to you

& you

& you

all those times

diminishing yr world

I could have done better

withholding affection is a crime

against the human heart