Beanies

I don’t think I wore my beanie at all last winter.

I took it with me all the time on the bus and in the car just in case I needed it when I got out but I never did.

Beanies always remind me of buds

How they sit clamped over your head

Protecting your ears and the soft skin of cheeks

Like buds protect blossoms.

I guess I needed protecting or maybe just the feeling of being protected.

As spring got closer I kept hanging out for a really cold day

Like kids hang out for xmas.

Having a winter without beanies is like having a summer without going for a swim.

You feel cheated.

  • when was a time you felt cheated?

Does That Count?

You look like a man who could wear pink, she said,

handing me the mask along with the compliment.

I have never thought of myself as a man who could wear pink

but the dental assistant thought so too

though in her T-shirt and jeans and muscly arms festooned

with inky blue tatts of scaly winged dragons she wasn’t wearing

an iota of pink.

She looked indie, edgy like I wanted to look but I was the man

who wore pink.

I wore it all the way to the car park then bravely wore it

in the nearby shopping centre where Pink was playing

over the P.A system.

Was that a sign?

Then went home with it still on.

The next day I put on a blue mask but I did wear

my mauve short-sleeved shirt when I went out.

Does that count?

1 Minute Dash

No, I’m not buying new slippers just yet.

And no, I’m not getting my dressing gown out.

Nor my pyjamas.

Boxers will do.

And my cozy murder mysteries can snuggle against each other

on the bookshelf for another month.

So put that in your pipe and smoke it, Sherlock Holmes.

I’m riding Autumn out till Winter arrives.

The Pink Comb

I have a pink comb

in my back pocket.

My one concession to pink.

Still, I was amazed

to read

in an article on Harris Reed,

the 25 year old designer,

that in the 18th century, pink

was stylish for men and women

as was lace,

a marker not of effeminacy

but of affluence & taste.

Tastes change.

Although I am not rabidly masculine,

I like manly cuts and colours

Still I;m fond of my pink comb.

O, and I like Kylie too.

Two Pockets

Ever think about pockets? the post asked.

Whenever I buy clothes, I say, I always think pockets.

Doesn’t everyone?

Two pockets. Roomy, Capacious, Like the report said.

The top left for the wallet, the right for the mobile so I can whip it out like a gun from a holster and do a Covid Safe check-in.

.If someone buys me a shirt with no pockets I won’t wear it.

If someone buys me a shirt with one pocket, I might.

Sometimes you gotta compromise.

Trousers too. Two hands, Two pockets.

It doesn’t get much simpler than that.

I like to walk around sometimes with my hands in my pockets.

It helps me think.

I’ve got a dressing gown with one pocket. What am I supposed to do

with the other hand??

I’ve heard that shrouds have NO pockets.

I don’t intend dying anytime soon.





  • google Roadtirement Blog for the post and video

My Walter Mitty V- Neck

Do you like this hi-neck sweater? she says. I’d like to buy it for you for Xmas. But you’ve got to keep it a secret.

I don’t know, he says. I prefer V-necks. Will you buy me a V-neck instead?

What have you got against hi-necks anyway?

You can’t whip your iPhone out or wallet from your top pocket at a moment’s notice, he says.

You’re not Walter Mitty? are you she says. You’re not a gunslinger.

But, but ….

And your top pockets are not holsters, are they? And this is West Lakes Shopping Centre NOT the Wild West!!

Can’t a guy dream? I smile

  • do you know who Walter Mitty is?
  • do you sometimes fantasize about being someone else?
  • do the clothes you wear create fantasies or do you buy certain clothes because they ‘feed’ a fantasy?

Sandals

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I like a guy with sandals.

Jesus wore them.

Buddha too.

I bet Mahatma did as well.

All the good guys wore sandals.

Allan Ginsberg did when he delivered ‘Howl’

on that memorable day

and The Archies when they sang ‘Sugar Sugar’ on the cartoon channel.

They’re not exactly power dressing

but you can trust a man who wears sandals.

or Woman.

My yoga teacher wore sandals.

She taught me the value of non attachment

though we were both attached to our sandals.

Socrates too.

He died in his sandals like cowboys with their boots on.

And so it goes.

I don’t know about celebs.

I think Clint Eastwood did in ‘A Few Dollars More’.

and Justin Bieber in his clip ‘Love Yourself’

Our Prime Minister wears sandals when he goes to the beach.

There’s a picture of Jesus walking on water in his sandals.

I tried it.

It doesn’t work

but I still wear my sandals.

 

On Not Wearing Vests

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Over the last four days I have not worn a vest it has been so hot.

It felt sort of liberating like women not wearing bras.

I have always worn a vest.

I have never questioned it.

Though an Aussie, I am of British stock. Wearing a vest is as ingrained as having a stiff upper lip during adversity or thinking of the Queen when trying not to go ‘all the way’.

My cousin who has considerable experience of men says she doesn’t know a single man —-or a married one —–who wears a vest to bed.

I have always called them ‘singlets’ but my friend who is British calls them ‘vests’, the name I have adopted too.

She doesn’t mind if they’re coloured. She’s liberal that way.

It still seems a little ‘racy’ not wearing a vest underneath a shirt but I am getting used to it.

Still I pop on a vest whenever it gets cool

It makes me feel more whole.

 

  • what do you think of vests?

Two Men Go Into a Change Room

fitting-room-curtains-mirror-clothes-shop-vacant-single-fitting-room-open-curtain-mirror-inside-100605145

There’s only one change room in the store.

I don’t check to see if it’s empty.

“Sorry”, I say to the guy who is trying on some clothes. “I’m in a bit of a hurry, do you mind?”

“That’s okay”, he says. “There’s room for two”.

I quietly disrobe and try on the gear.

Perfect fit!

“I’m good”, I say, changing hastily back.

So off I go to the counter, pay for my purchases which the assistant neatly puts in a bag, and head down the mall to  meet my mate for coffee. .

It is only when I sit down that I realize I’m wearing the other dude’s clothes.