How To Read Signs

Any chance of a coffee, Cheryl?

I’m busy, John. Can you get one from the machine? It does a good job.

Not as good as you, Cheryl.

She smiled but it was no go. So I went to the machine. There was a sign on it saying, Apologies. This Machine Is Out Of Order.

So I went and told Cheryl.

That’s funny, she said. It was working earlier. I’ll have a look.

A few minutes later, she brought me a coffee.

The machine’s working, John but I brought you a coffee anyway.

That’s funny: the sign said it wasn’t working.

The sign was on the side of the machine, she said. Only if it’s on the front does it hold true.

Oh? I said. Oh.

So I thanked her and after I drank the coffee, I left, a little troubled.

At home, I flipped through the community newspaper and found just the course I wanted: How To Read Signs. I filled out the form, sent in the cheque and enrolled immediately.

Never again would I be caught short before a sign.

 

 

 

What Happened Out There, Out in the Garden?

Stephanie was out in the garden, chasing chooks out of the vegetable patch. She was some way from us, out on the back porch, so I was surprised that she responded to something I said.

“Yes. I remember when …” and then her voice seemed to get swallowed up.

”What’s that?” I said.

But she stood there helplessly waving her hands as if signalling to us to disregard what she had to say and to carry on our conversation. We did and when my friend left, Stephanie came over and sat beside me.

“What happened out there?” I asked. “Out in the garden?”

“What I was about to say got swallowed up,” she said.

“Like in a sinkhole?” I said. They had been in the news lately.

“Like in a sinkhole.”

“It’s all right,” I said. “Tell me when you remember.”