Was Jesus a Funny Guy?

Was Jesus a funny guy?

Would he have laughed at my pelican story?

Had he a sense of humor?

And if so, was it the self-deprecating kind

or the sort that skewered the pomposity of others?

You can’t tell me with those twelve disciples alone

with all those foibles

he didn’t have sufficient material to work with.

My guess is he compiled a joke book which the early Church

suppressed.

Did he do stand-up on the mount where he gave,

in his more serious side, the Sermon on the Beatitudes?

Humour should have been amongst them.

A person with a sense of humour is in contact with his humanity.

Even the donkey and hyenas know how to laugh.

The images of Buddha show him with a rollicking belly.

I don’t mean to be disrespectful but where are the images

of the jolly Jesus?

I bet if they met he would have shared a laugh with Buddha,

even exchanged jokes over a coffee or two.

I wait for the record to be rectified.

An ampler, more approachable sort of god.

A Very Heavy Ten Minutes

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between

1.10 and 1.20

on Saturday afternoons

he pumps out

Polaris

Parkway Drive

Bring Me The Horizon

from his tiny unit

by which time

whatever he’s got

in his system

he’s got out

or whatever he hasn’t

he’s got in

 

  • pic of Metallica onstage in London courtesy of Wikimedia Commons:

Tricky

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You’re tricky, she says, which is sort of ironic ‘coz she’s tricky too; and my best buddy can be very tricky and we’ve come to blows on more than one occasion over our mutual trickiness which is even more tricky seeing he’s in a wheelchair though he gives as much as he gets and tonight we’re over a friend’s place for a fuck-you covid meal and although there are a few tricky moments we manage to get on over pizzas, two bottles of red, Bailey’s Irish Cream and a few espressos which just goes to show what a resilient species we humans are

Four Morning Poems

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1

It is good to see the sun shining in the morning:

a friendly face peering through the window

2

I lean my magazine against a pyramid of book

and savour over my bowl of berries the latest words

from John Yau:

the mountain is watching you, she says

nudging me obliquely as the sun turns red

3

I like to hop up in the morning like the easter bunny

& see who has written to me overnight

& unwrap their little gift of words

4

I like to put up posts first thing, my messages in a bottle

roaming the vast oceans of the internet to see who

will pick up and read

 

 

 

Please Don’t Call This Love

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I’m not yr punching bag

Not yr piñata

So give me a break

what is it you are after

 

I’m not yr pincushion

Not yr whipping boy

so why are you so intent

on stifling my joy

 

Yr not my parole officer

you are not my judge

so don’t cross examine me

& please don’t call this love.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Leopard

800px-Leopard_(Panthera_pardus)

The world can be divided, the philosopher said,

between two groups of people: those who leave

pegs on the line , and those who don’t:

my first wife was a clearly a proponent

of the second school & I the first which might explain

why we split

 

even two marriages later

I am hesitant to put the pegs in a tray in case

my new partner is an adherent of the first school

though the presence of a peg tray clearly indicates

the second

 

I pause

between the two schools

but my old self reasserts itself:

a leopard cannot change its spots.

 

  • which school do you belong to?
  • have you changed from one school of thought to another?
  • can a leopard change its spots?

Sandals

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I like a guy with sandals.

Jesus wore them.

Buddha too.

I bet Mahatma did as well.

All the good guys wore sandals.

Allan Ginsberg did when he delivered ‘Howl’

on that memorable day

and The Archies when they sang ‘Sugar Sugar’ on the cartoon channel.

They’re not exactly power dressing

but you can trust a man who wears sandals.

or Woman.

My yoga teacher wore sandals.

She taught me the value of non attachment

though we were both attached to our sandals.

Socrates too.

He died in his sandals like cowboys with their boots on.

And so it goes.

I don’t know about celebs.

I think Clint Eastwood did in ‘A Few Dollars More’.

and Justin Bieber in his clip ‘Love Yourself’

Our Prime Minister wears sandals when he goes to the beach.

There’s a picture of Jesus walking on water in his sandals.

I tried it.

It doesn’t work

but I still wear my sandals.