The Last of the Romantics

This time he’s really shitted off.

Had a turd of a day

and now he’s come home to find

dog poo AGAIN

on his freshly mown lawn.

His fury diarrhoeas out

of his mouth, and here we draw the veil of decorum

over the expletives to protect our readers.

A little calmer now he pulls out his pen,

the ballpoint

he uses to write romantic missives to his love

and pens

a warning. on the nearest stobie poll,

a friendly warning

but its double-barrelled exclamation marks cannot hide his intent.

He grabs

a can of beer, and plonks himself near the front window,

watching, watching.

23 thoughts on “The Last of the Romantics

  1. How many a warning that’s friendly?
    Carpet bombing your neighbour’s
    lawn with poo is not a particularly
    noble thing to do! 🐶💩

    “I’m no good at being noble, but it
    doesn’t take much to see that the
    problems of two little people, and
    one dog, don’t amount to a hill of
    crap in this crazy world.”

    ~ Rick Blaine
    (from the movie Catchadogwalka)

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I got really inspired here; I feel this poem as I’ve stepped into piles of dog shit before and have dealt with my own internal rage at such carelessness from the owners.

    Without further ado:

    It’s not fun stepping in shit, it really makes me want to hit
    the person who clearly doesn’t give a damn
    so this friendly reminder about cleaning up the shit
    should do for this man

    Don’t worry if that’s not the case
    there are companies that commit
    sending glitter in their face,
    just pay extra for it to be shit. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Someone better be watching their dog and its poo. Because there’s a war about to happen. I like the double exclamation marks. They emphasise more. Love how you’ve used most of the words synonymous with poo. Great writing, John. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. As a dog owner, I do clean up. But when I first got my dog from the shelter, he was so nervous, he subsequently earned a short poem for a nickname:

    tall grass
    wet pooh

    Not fun to clean up.

    Liked by 1 person

    • 🙂 I suspect that is why some poo is left where it drops; I know on the beach, all eyes are on owners and their dogs; I’ve seen some owners being reprimanded by beach goers for not picking up after their dogs; things can get a little heated 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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