This time he’s really shitted off.
Had a turd of a day
and now he’s come home to find
dog poo AGAIN
on his freshly mown lawn.
His fury diarrhoeas out
of his mouth, and here we draw the veil of decorum
over the expletives to protect our readers.
A little calmer now he pulls out his pen,
the ballpoint
he uses to write romantic missives to his love
and pens
a warning. on the nearest stobie poll,
a friendly warning
but its double-barrelled exclamation marks cannot hide his intent.
He grabs
a can of beer, and plonks himself near the front window,
watching, watching.
John Malone 
How many a warning that’s friendly?
Carpet bombing your neighbour’s
lawn with poo is not a particularly
noble thing to do! 🐶💩
“I’m no good at being noble, but it
doesn’t take much to see that the
problems of two little people, and
one dog, don’t amount to a hill of
crap in this crazy world.”
~ Rick Blaine
(from the movie Catchadogwalka)
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Lol; what a magnificent quote, David and so true 🙂
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Gosh. Think I would take that word “friendly” with a pinch of salt. 😂😂. This dude is on a mission. I feel for him. A turd on the lawn is worth about 7 in a bush.
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Lol; I should have employed you, Worms, to write that killer comment as the last line of my poem 🙂
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😂. Thanks for the compliment.
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I got really inspired here; I feel this poem as I’ve stepped into piles of dog shit before and have dealt with my own internal rage at such carelessness from the owners.
Without further ado:
It’s not fun stepping in shit, it really makes me want to hit
the person who clearly doesn’t give a damn
so this friendly reminder about cleaning up the shit
should do for this man
Don’t worry if that’s not the case
there are companies that commit
sending glitter in their face,
just pay extra for it to be shit. 😀
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Lucy, I love this; thanks for adding to the fun 🙂
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I’m imagining you in camo gear, flasj of coffee at the ready, just waiting for the perpetrator to slip up…
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I’ve got that guy in my sights, Matthew; he’s going to come along any minute with his defecating dogs, little suspecting …..
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Die Hard you turd, with a vengeance! 😂
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I like that one, Hobbo: it shows just the right amount of venom 🙂
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😂👍
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Poo patrol; kids might like it as much as paw patrol, no? You just can’t make this kinda shit up. 😂😂
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you certainly can’t; I hope the offender takes note: we certainly don’t want a neighborhood stoush, one person beating the crap out of another 🙂 poor pun: you probably saw it coming
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😀 Total shit show, this one. Thanks for the fun.
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going for a walk around the ‘hood soon to see what other bizarre things I can spy 🙂
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the sentinel is in place
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firmly, Beth, firmly; let’s hope for a happy outcome 🙂
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Someone better be watching their dog and its poo. Because there’s a war about to happen. I like the double exclamation marks. They emphasise more. Love how you’ve used most of the words synonymous with poo. Great writing, John. 🙂
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As a dog owner, I do clean up. But when I first got my dog from the shelter, he was so nervous, he subsequently earned a short poem for a nickname:
tall grass
wet pooh
Not fun to clean up.
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🙂 I suspect that is why some poo is left where it drops; I know on the beach, all eyes are on owners and their dogs; I’ve seen some owners being reprimanded by beach goers for not picking up after their dogs; things can get a little heated 🙂
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Hi John,
Irresponsible dog owners are so annoying. Hope the note will do it, otherwise …
wish I could be a fly on that pole when the fireworks begin.
eden 😀
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Lol; no one will tackle a man with a German Shepard or Rhodesian Ridgeback 🙂
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