Aisle Man

/ johnlmalone

Aisle Man.

I like to sit at the end.

The aisle seat.

At the cinema

concerts

church.

That’s where action heroes would sit,

I imagine.

Not in the middle of Row 22, for instance,

cramped on either side

like cattle in a truck.

No, Vin Diesel, John Wick , for instance,

would sit on the aisle,

close to the exit,

primed for action,

its sudden summons

like me

if only to take a phone call

or toilet break.

49 thoughts on “Aisle Man”

  1. Me too! Definitely an aisle person. I love that we can choose our seats with booking online tickets – always the aisle in when I book and I sit on the outside. I can’t fathom people booking two or three seats in the centre – all those “scuse me” or perhaps they just aren’t movers.

    Liked by 1 person

    • thank you, Kate: I’m glad I’m not the only one; I can’t understand people, especially someone solo, racing for the middle seat half a row up; perhaps they are herd people 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    • thanks Eden: i wasn’t going to insert that but I thought no, there’s nothing shameful in it and anyway nothing wrong with a bit of self deprecating humor: the best kind 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m an aisle seat person. Always want to know I can make that quick getaway when needed! I might use that superhero excuse next time someone wants seats in the middle.

    Liked by 1 person

  4.     I consulted the “MORE IN” section of the reader to get advice. There are a few clues from the exegesis of the poem “Aisle #9.” You definitely need to pack some canned laughter in the overhead luggage, and dress casual: clown shoes and frizzy ginger hair. They’ll want you in the aisle seat so that in an emergency they can remove you quickly to the clown car.
        If you do the John Wick thing and an exigency blows the horns of dilemmas, then they’ll whisk you off to a black car where they will give you an assassination assignment.
        But from then on, they’ll never give you an aisle seat in Church. You’ll have to stand at the back with a machine gun. It can be a little uncomfortable.

    Liked by 3 people

    • hahahaha; I love how much fun you had with this , Doug; you have a rich, comic talent; whether you employ it in comments, or in the design of your own rich posts, or something other out there in the ‘real world’ the ball’s in yr court; a richly comic comment; much thanks 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  6. You’re a hero then. I remember I did a first aid course and then, new in the knowledge that I had a duty of care to help in an emergency, I sat through a movie terrified that somebody would have a heart attack and I would be expected to know what to do. Pretty sure I huddled in the cattle truck area. It has put me off doing any more first aid courses. I am such a wuss!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I’m an aisle person too. I just like the space. Of course, imagining you are John Wick is fun. But probably it’s more of being an introvert for me.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. OMG, I just realized something. Superheroes go on military cargo planes where the seats are along the walls, facing inward toward the aisle and there are no windows. There are no middle seats and you get a free parachute. That way you can parachute directly to your own house without needing an Uber. No need for spoke and hub — you can land in front of your own house or apartment. And if you’re not an experienced jumper you can get a free air-marshal on your back jumping with you if you need to land in an urban setting — no need to worry, he’ll be fully armed and he can do a few arrests that he’ll get credit for and then grateful for that, he’ll escort you home. It’s a win-win.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Row 10 with so much self-confidence that no-one dares to sit next to me. Jump the front rows in two leaps when popping out to save the world,,,, or just go to the loo.
    Second thought, I’ll just take the aisle seat, thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Being an action man
    I can never go to the cinema
    facing the screen
    so any super villain
    could sneak up behind me
    that’s the problem
    with being an action hero
    with so many a deadly enemy 😎

    Liked by 1 person

  23. The very first time my wife laid eyes on me was on our very first day of high school, in 1986. She stepped into the classroom and I immediately caught her attention. She thought: “He is cute but sitting in the back of the classroom he must be a troublemaker. Better forget about him”.
    But she also caught my attention… And we are still together, 37 years after that day.

    Liked by 1 person

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